As a child-free adult in her 30s, I struggled to find like-minded people to travel with

A few years ago, I went through a major transitional phase in my life. I moved to Indianapolis after 10 years in Seattle. I bought a house for the first time, and ended a five-year relationship. I also started, quit and restarted a new job. 

I’d been living with someone else for a long time, but suddenly I found myself single in a brand new city, re-discovering my independence. At the same time, there was a lot of chaos going on in my personal and professional life. I craved a way to detach from everything that was happening and take my power back a little. 

I’d never solo travelled before, let alone fly halfway across the world by myself. So choosing to go to Vietnam and Cambodia with Flash Pack was my Eat, Pray, Love moment. It was “go big or go home”: the point where I pressed play on a long-held dream.

I’ve always had an affection for Southeast Asia. Working as a Plant Manager at Aerospace Manufacturing in Seattle for 10 years, most of my staff came from that area of the world. I had a lot of Vietnamese grandmas at the time: wonderful ladies who would look out for me when I was sick, or keep tabs on my love life. They were the best people.

I was also at a point in life where I wanted to travel in comfort, with experiences that went beyond that of the average tourist. All this reasoning led me to finding Flash Pack, and a 14-day adventure in Vietnam, a country I’d always wanted to see – plus Cambodia, a place I knew hardly anything about.

Suddenly I found myself single. I wanted to take my power back

I booked the trip in April for a September departure, and put a countdown on my phone. That’s when the panic set in. What if travelling with strangers for two weeks was too much? What if the group chemistry wasn’t good? And how would I cope with a 40-hour flight? It all came back to fear of the unknown. 

Strangely, those worries disappeared the moment I stepped foot on the plane. Perhaps I knew at that point there was no turning back. And, as it turned out, I was stressed for nothing. Because from day one, our group bonded in a way that felt magical. I’ve since been on two other Flash Pack trips – to Portugal and Colombia. Both were great, but I don’t think I’ll ever get that chemistry we had on that first trip. It was crazy how comfortable we were together. 

Partly this was to do with us sharing a similar outlook on life. Flash Pack tends to attract people who are open and flexible. We’re an ambitious bunch who are able to make bold decisions, and hold interesting world views. Collectively, we have the mindset of, “We may never be here again, so let’s do everything.” 

That 30-50 niche means that everyone’s in the same stage of life, too. Even when we’ve come from different areas of the world, we’re all mid-career and finding out what that means. We had a lot of good bonding over being in that same age bracket, with similar life experiences.

From day one, our group bonded in a way that felt magical

I also welcomed the fact that Flash Pack has lots of solo travellers who are single and child-free. That’s not a common thing in my social circle back home. Most of my friends in the States are married or have kids. Of course, I love those friends and their children. But equally, they’re in a different phase of life and I can’t always relate to that. So, travelling in Vietnam and Cambodia, it was really nice to connect with other people who’d made similar choices to my own. 

One of my favourite memories of the trip was the 17-hour overnight train trip we took from Hanoi to the city of Da Nang. We sat up all night, chatting and playing cards over a couple of beers. Then there was the time we rowed down Vietnam’s Ngo Dong River in a thunderstorm, with lightning all over the place. Or when we jumped from our two-tier river boat into the ocean of Halong Bay and went swimming together. It was pretty wild.

All these experiences, even the more sobering ones, worked to solidify our friendships. They made everything that much more special. By the time we arrived in Cambodia at the end of the trip, we were able to support each other through a visit to the country’s infamous killing fields. I wasn’t prepared for how emotional it would be, but we were there for one another.

Our Pack Leaders were another reason why we formed such a great dynamic. Phat, our Vietnamese guide, made us all feel so comfortable and we had loads of great conversations with him about Vietnamese culture and history. Meanwhile, Buntree, our Cambodian guide, nicknamed our group “Team Sticky Rice” because we ended up going everywhere together. We never once separated into smaller groups, even during free time.

 

Most of my friends in the States are married or have kids

When I first told people I was travelling to Vietnam and Cambodia alone, I got a lot of questions and tilting heads. But it was such a healing trip. The bike ride through Hanoi and the Vespa tour through Ho Chi Minh city are moments I will never forget. And the temple kingdom of Angkor Wat at sunrise was a religious experience. 

After returning from Southeast Asia, I sat in the post-vacation glow for a while. I definitely felt more zen and centred in myself. And that’s funny because it wasn’t a relaxing vacation. If you want to sit on a beach for three days sipping cocktails, Flash Pack is not the option for you. But if you – like me – enjoy gallivanting across the country with a group of really fun people, then it’s one of the coolest things you can do. 

It also made me realise that solo travel is going to be part of my life for a long time. As a child-free adult in her 30s, I struggle to find like-minded people who have the time and money to travel the world. This adventure proved that I don’t have to wait around. Instead, I can go on my own and make lifelong friends along the way.

Erin Carroll is an engineer who lives in Indianapolis. She’s travelled with Flash Pack to Vietnam and Cambodia, Portugal and Colombia.