“Solo travel is the opposite of addiction. You’re present in the world”
Celebrity sober coach Bob Marier has been dry for 24 years, and is leading Flash Pack’s first alcohol-free adventure to Bali – part of our new sober travel collection – in January 2025
The freedom that comes with solo travel is the antithesis of getting loaded. I spent almost 25 years of my life addicted to alcohol, and I started early – at 14 years old. During that time, drinking came first to everything else. So even when I went on vacation, my universe was small. My whole life revolved around where the nearest bar was.
Adventure was out of the question, because when you’re drunk the whole time, you don’t end up doing much. I would go for an all-inclusive holiday somewhere in the sun, spend two weeks getting pissed up there and come back with a tan. I’m embarrassed now to think that I wasted an entire vacation in Rome, the magnificent capital of Italy, just drinking at the Excelsior hotel. That’s all I remember from that trip.
My whole life revolved around where the nearest bar was
But generally I didn’t venture out much, because I was so messed up. It was a very solitary existence. One of the gifts of my sobriety is the ability to exist in the present. And nothing does that more than solo travel.
I got sober in 2004, and over the past 20 years, I’ve traveled alone everywhere from Istanbul to India and the Middle East. I’m a big motorcycle enthusiast, so I love to get off the beaten track, trail riding for hours in Miami, Los Angeles or Montréal. Before, I couldn’t have even gotten on a bike in the state I was in. Now, I live for it.
I love skiing as well, and have had a phenomenal time hitting the slopes all over the planet; often tackling ski runs on my own. Solo travel has opened up this bigger world to me. Rather than relying on all these maladaptive coping skills that come with drinking and drugs, I go out and do stuff. I exist in the now and I have an open mind, too.
When I’m traveling, I tend to see where each day takes me – with no particular agenda. I even returned to Rome and got to appreciate the city through a fresh lens. I got up at 6am, grabbed coffee and saw the Vatican before all the tourists arrived. People say, “Oh it must be boring being sober”. But there’s zero excitement or depth to a life that goes round in tiny circles.
When you stop drinking, your brain starts firing wonderfully
When you stop drinking – even after just 90 days – your brain starts firing wonderfully. And you’ll begin to see changes in your reactions to the world around you. The result is a newfound gratitude for experiences in the here and now. But it’s also about something else that plays into the joy of solo travel: the ability to forge great relationships.
In my drinking days, my emotional growth was stunted and that meant I wasted a lot of time being introspective. I got hung up on petty resentments or the drama du jour, and I didn’t have a social life beyond the nearest bar.
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I wasn’t able to help other people, either, because I really didn’t care about anyone but myself. Everything was transactional. I was self-centered with low self-esteem, and – like many problem drinkers – I’d end more and more nights on my own, boozing. I’m the baby of six kids, but by the time I got sober, I found myself estranged from my big, loving family. Addiction permeated all my close relationships.
Nowadays, my family is everything to me but I also share a common bond with everyone I’ve met in recovery. There’s a lot more meat on the bone of my relationships, because I’ve learned to really communicate. People are often amazed how vulnerable I can be in a short space of time – but openness and honesty are the hallmarks of the global sober community. It’s like unlocking a door, when before I was looking through a keyhole.
Recovery and discovery have become the same thing for me
It was a transition that took years, however. I didn’t just quit drinking and everything was golden. Instead, I spent a lot of time unpacking all this loneliness and sadness that I had been pushing down with drinking and drugs. And that’s where recovery and discovery become the same thing for me.
By the time we’re grown-ups – especially in our 30s and 40s – we’re all carrying around this rucksack of emotional baggage. It might be filled with bigger traumas, or the pebbles of a lifetime of smaller emotional issues.
Either way, getting sober means sifting through that rucksack. You can’t run away from it, and it may well feel uncomfortable, or even miserable, for a while. But at the same time, you’ll be uncovering an ability to try new things, connect with people and be a healthy part of society.
At this point in my life as a sober coach, I’ve led over 800 interventions, including for celebrities such as former Toronto mayor, Rob Ford. I’m in high demand but the joke in coaching circles is, if you can get to my ear, I’ll find a way to help you.
People often confide in me. I help them feel safe and heard
I make a point of checking in on people I’ve helped along the way, too. It’s a tiny gesture and it costs nothing. But it’s amazing what reaching out can do for those living in darkness.
When I lead Flash Pack’s first alcohol-free trip to Bali next year, I know our group will share some deep conversations. There’ll be people who’ll say to me, “I don’t know why I’m telling you this.” But they’ll confide all the same, because I’ll help them feel safe and heard. And there’s no shame in that – our secrets are what keep us sick.
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Of course, not everyone who joins the Bali adventure will need an addiction therapist. Some may be already sober, or merely sober-curious. Others will be searching for a more general kind of healing. But whoever turns up, I’ll be ready to support them with a good attitude.
We’ll have some fun together – and I guarantee that at least two members of the group will never drink again. Still others might come back to me at a later date and say, “You remember that conversation we had in Bali? I’m ready to do that now.”
One of the gifts of my sobriety is the ability to exist in the present
In Tower of Song, the great Montréal poet, Leonard Cohen, writes, “I ache in the places where I used to play.” I remember hearing those words when I first came into recovery. Instantly, I realized: there’s nothing for me at the pub anymore.
Being sober may be hard work but, as I always tell people, it’s not a parlor trick. It’s simply a case of staying dry and watching what happens. You’ll go from not wanting to do much of anything, of being riddled with resentments, to accessing a whole new lease of life.
Getting sober gave me an opportunity to change my plight: it’s like a superpower. I’ve discovered so much about myself since I went clean. But the single greatest pleasure has been the chance to help others make the same change.
My Mom really instilled in me that if you help just one person, you’ve been successful in life. It’s a privilege I take very seriously, because I may be the one person someone else chooses to confide in. Clients say, “Oh you saved my life, you’re an angel.” But I won’t allow that label. I can only show people where and how to get sober. I can’t do the work for them. Still, that ability to step in and heal is the very best part of being me.
Flash Pack ambassador Bob Marier is a celebrity sober coach and host of our first alcohol-free adventure to Bali; one of three new Flash Pack sober trips.
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Images: Courtesy of Bob Marier and Connor McCracken for Flash Pack
